


easy, easy

by poetdameron



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Ryan, Canon Compliant, Daddy Kink, Dynamic Negotiation, Episode: s06e02 The Haunting Shadows of The St. Augustine Lighthouse, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Kink Negotiation, Light Angst, M/M, Rimming, Top Shane, light Dom/sub dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:02:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21793456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: Ryan accidentally reveals too much about himself for the Lighthouse episode, making Shane overthink everything he knows of his friend and their entire relationship.Or, Shane and the odyssey to make him and Ryan become more than friends with benefits.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 29
Kudos: 319





	easy, easy

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been on my drafts for a while, and it's thanks to [Madeline](https://beacon911.tumblr.com/) that I'm finally able to post it. Thank you so much for editing this fic and make sense of my ugly english.
> 
> Obviously based on the Lighthouse daddy bit Ryan pulled. This was supposed to be just PWP but then it somehow got plot? I hope you guys enjoyed. And if you liked it and have tumblr, please support me by reblogging the [original post](https://wetookanoath.tumblr.com/post/189671794567/easy-easy-shyan-fic)!

(16:21)  _ No offense, you know I love you _

_ But I always wondered why Ryan was into you _

_ Now it all makes sense! _

_ Dude has a daddy kink _

_ Who could tell?? _

Shane closed his eyes hard, opening them after counting to ten while moving his head to one side, having read his brother’s text. He blinked a couple of times, re-reading before starting to reply with a simple,  _ “uh?” _ that was answered by the middle finger emoji and  _ “your newest episode.” _

He looked at his TV, standing in the middle of the living room as he heard Sara throwing shit around, complaining about having to pack hours before her flight. Scott’s message distracted him enough from telling her a delicious, _ “I told you so” _ , but roasting his roommate would had to wait.

Because Shane sat down on his couch and opened Youtube faster than he remembered these things could be done. He clicked on the video and let it run in the back as he texted TJ and Devon, and Mark, and Matt, and Katie, but not Ryan.

“Dude.” He heard, Shane looked back and found Sara with wild hair and only dressed on a towel around her body. “What’s up? You look about to have a heart attack or something…”

“Uh, just... “ He sighed. “I think our editors left something they shouldn’t.”

“Ooh, nooo…” She made a tsk sound with her tongue, looking at him with a sympathetic smile. “Well, It can’t be that bad—”

_ ‘Not to say he is like my daddy or something.’ _

“Oh Ryan, sweetheart…” She said, motherly voice so cute, Shane wished he had recorded it for Kelsey. 

He shook his head, the video kept going with the camera shaking with Matt’s laugh for Ryan’s words. The man kept talking, but Shane sighed, looking nowhere in particular, then moving his head to one side as if with this his brain could accommodate and think better.

When the crew told him about this months ago, Shane never imagined in his wildest dreams that it would be so goddamn…  _ loud _ .

Sara put a hand on his shoulder. “Well, at least you have your answer now.”

“Excuse me?” Shane looked up, frowning. 

“About if… Ryan is into you  _ that  _ way?”

“ _ Dude _ .”

**Easy, Easy**

The Lighthouse had been empty of ghosts, but sound had echoed through them as it did in his head when Matt told Shane about Ryan’s stupid mistake once he was out of the place. 

He had watched his friends rejoice in laughter, explaining to him how ridiculous it had been, the way Ryan had said such a thing, but before they could show him the footage, the man was out the Lighthouse and Shane was rushing him back inside in a heartbeat, urging him to do his solo before they could wrap things up.

Shane swallowed, deciding for his mental sake to continue filming, eager to get back into the hotel so he could watch the tape and confirm what he had suspecte for long months.

If Ryan hadn’t shared this with him in spite of their…  _ thing _ , it meant something else. 

He suspected, a matter of trust and love, something he would do with a romantic partner. 

Shane had swallowed then, kept talking to the audience about their work and Ryan, and everything that was safe to say for these bits, trying to distract himself enough to not go back there, to the thoughts that kept eating him alive as they kept sharing their beds but calling each other friend and friend only.

Ryan came back out running, covered in sweat and looking frantic after Shane had banged on the door, telling him his time was up. He had heard something, the spirit box had talked to him and his  _ excitement  _ and fear could be seen a mile away. 

At the sight, Shane blinked. It had been so long since he last saw Ryan this upset for an Unsolved episode, it made him remember a time when Shane had been unaware of his own feelings, when he wouldn’t even think of them ever becoming more than friends.

“Are you okay?” Shane asked once the cameras were off. “Ryan, look at me.” He lifted his face with a finger on his chin, seeing him swallow. “It’s alright, you’re safe. You’re here.”

Ryan tried his best to smile, nodded and leaned his head on Shane’s chest. This time, he was the one who swallowed, but Shane put a hand on Ryan’s shoulder and begged himself not to give in a hug him in front of everyone.

“Is he okay?” Devon asked, Shane nodded. “Good, let’s go.”

“Come on, Ry.”

He had taken care of Ryan later that night, Shane remembered his blissed off expression after and the soft way he had thanked him for distracting his busy mind as Shane often did during those months. And just like that night they had fallen asleep, victims of their slumber and the tiresome life of being a ghost hunter, Shane had one day put a stop to their arrangement when tired and sleepless.

The man looked up at him, blinking, expression so neutral it had been impossible to read, and had said it was okay. Three weeks had passed since, and while Ryan seemed so normal at Shane’s side, he knew there was a strange distance between them that only disappeared when a camera was in front of them.

Ryan’s advances, touching him and initiating tempting bits while they were working hadn’t passed unnoticed for Shane. But all these confusing signals had only lead him to long nights where he had to bite his tongue to not end up crying in frustration.

Seeing this clip, incomplete he was sure, and the way Ryan had uttered those words, ‘daddy’… It felt like a signal.

* * *

Ryan liked him stern, dominant.

It was something that had come natural to them, and for a while Shane thought it was just a little thing. But when Ryan started to provoke him into treating him harsh, firm and just…  _ not  _ gentle, Shane understood what the man needed.

At the same time, Ryan liked being spoiled and showered in praise. And really, who wouldn’t, but the way it caused Ryan to smile and get hard, orgasm as he was told he had been so good, it was  _ different _ . 

Shane had thought of it as a lighter version for what he usually did when on vacations, being into dom/sub roleplay and BDSM wasn’t something he would talk about in a common conversation and while it had come as a surprise, that Ryan would respond so well to what could be considered the hints to a forming dynamic, Shane had to admit Ryan was way too good at it to just be coincidence.

This, Ryan calling Shane not his daddy, gave him new ideas. 

Maybe that was what Ryan needed from him, maybe this was a next step, something to try on. The idea made Shane swallow and feel his pants slightly tight and his heart beat fast as he thought of what it could mean for them as more than friends.

_ “Why are you doing that?” _ Ryan had asked on set two weeks ago, frown so deep, Shane had wanted to kiss it away.  _ “Why do you keep saying I’m your friend? Believe me, everyone knows that already.” _

_ “It’s just…”  _

_ “Dude, if you keep acting like that, people will start suspecting about…” _ He had looked away, sighing.  _ “Anyway,” _

_ “Do you want me to stop?” _

The silence that had followed the question didn’t go unnoticed by Shane, he knew Ryan had thought his answer, probably thought of their relationship, their Friends with Benefits status.

_ “I guess not…” _

He had sounded so unsure, almost sad. It had made Shane wonder that maybe, maybe he wasn’t the only one feeling more than he was saying, but trying to get something out this man was as hard as trying to make him see none of the things he thought were in the dark were real.

Shane had put his feet on the ground that afternoon, had brought up their sexual relationship, and then he had ended their arrangement at the sight of a blinking Ryan who had only say ‘okay’ and then left.

Ryan had his secrets, that much was clear. He also had a daddy kink, something he hadn’t shared with Shane in spite of having almost five wonderful months of great sex, kinky when needed, where Shane would always listen to whatever he wanted to do.

So this kink. As common and as taboo as it seemed sometimes. Uh.  _ Interesting _ . 

This kink was reserved for someone else.

Shane wondered if he could be that someone one day.

* * *

“You are still at it?” Shane heard Sara say, he looked up to find her dressed and carrying her suitcases to the living room. “You have to let it go and talk to him!”

He stood, taking the bags from her and carrying them near the door. Shane looked at his watch, she was leaving in about ten minutes while Ryan was likely still in the gym. Even if he wanted to talk to him, it seemed an unlikely option for the time being.

“Maybe on Monday, when I see him.”

“MONDAY?” Her eyes opened wide, clearly she thought him the desperate kind.

And well, Sara wasn’t wrong, but Shane was so not looking forward to the negative possibilities of that conversation. Like it being a joke, making him look like a delusional idiot or worse, expose his own kink, making Ryan believe him weirder than he could take.

“You are gonna spend the weekend alone, with daddy kink in your head AND Ryan, too? My condolences to your hand.”

“I fucking hate you.”

Shane paused the video that was about to get into the part again, not really wanting to hear it anymore. It was going to be a long weekend, but Shane was sure Monday would do better.

“I want the rest of the footage, I already asked the editor for it.”

Sara frowned. “Why do you want that?” 

They shared a look, Shane swallowed and sat down at her side in the bigger couch. It had been one of the first pieces of furniture they had bought as roommates and that was how he knew they were in for a good friendship.

_ “It’s perfect because it’s hella large like you!” _ , she had said. And she hadn’t been wrong. 

“ _ She’s hella cute like yourself, so it’s perfect!” _ was what he had said last year during the Holiday party at work, seeing his friend so lost in the way she had been looking at Kelsey.

Now, so many months later, they were doing their first trip together. To Italy, to meet Kelsey’s extended family. At least one of them had gotten lucky with their crush.

_ “What if Ryan has feelings for you and you’re being a dummy?”  _ Kelsey had told him in June as they had tacos for dinner after watching Midsommar.  _ “You’re never gonna know if you don’t say anything, you know? Look at me and Sara!” _

They were right, he knew. But friends with benefits had been good, it was secure and what Ryan had wanted. Going along with it and enjoying as much as he was allowed had been Shane’s decision and he was fine with it.

Until he wasn’t.

“It’s just…” Shane swallowed, looking at the screen in front of him and Sara.

It cast a soft cream light on their living room, the image of Ryan looking at the audience, frozen in high resolution only made him want to end all this at once.

Shane remembered that night in the Lighthouse pretty well.

Not only because he and Ryan had spent it together, but because he couldn’t stop looking at Ryan’s face as he explained to him what it felt like to have a little conversation with his screaming box.

He didn’t believe in any of what Ryan was looking for in those places, but he believed so eagerly in Ryan’s passion, it was fascinating to hear him talk about something that meant a huge step into the right path of the truth he was chasing, and Shane had been happy to live those precious little moments with him.

So much, that he had forgotten all about the joke and the tape Matt and TJ had been dying to show him.

“Are you guys still sleeping together?” Sara asked when he didn’t say anything in a long time. “I thought you said you wanted to save the friendship and now you’re back in that hole.”

“Yeah, I know.” Shane swallowed. “We’re not anymore. We’ve been… a little distant lately. These past three weeks.” He sighed. “I want to see what else he said.” He finally said as he crossed his arms over his chest. “To see if it’s a joke or not.”

“You are complicating your life too much for a stupid kink.”

“Look,” Shane swallowed and turned on the couch to face her. “Ryan has this… thing, where he likes being taken care of. And I think he likes  _ me _ taking care of him, so—“

“Damn, you really are  _ that _ kind of daddy.”

“Sara!” He shook his head and kept going as she laughed. “That aside, I think… I think it could mean something good for my poor heart if he… sees me that way...” He swallowed after Sara frowned, not following. “I know Ryan, at least I think I do. And I know he wouldn’t ask just anyone to be and do  _ that _ for him, unless he trusts that person and feels safe with them. And if I can be that… It probably means he sees me as more than a friend.”

“Mmm.” She mimicked his actions, crossing her arms over her chest. “You are that dude that keeps having sex with their sexbuddy in the hopes they will love him one day. You know, you went through hell and back trying to convince yourself breaking off the sexbuddy thing was best for your relationship with Ryan, and now one word puts you back at it again...”

“I know, I know…” He accepted, turning once more to let his back hit the back of the couch, head thrown back, eyes closed. “I’m fucking things up. This is why I’m not ready to have that conversation just yet… I want to be at least half sure.”

“Half sure of what?”

Shane’s eyes opened. The ceiling of his apartment needed new paint, it also didn’t have all the answers he was looking for.

“That he will love me back this time.”

* * *

Shane always had the little suspicion, just not enough proof to confirm it.

He blinked once, biting his fingernails as he looked at the image on his computer at work on a Saturday morning. In it, Ryan was sitting while he was off to his solo investigation, having said how being around Shane made things different, then referring to him as  _ not  _ his daddy. He heard TJ’s and Matt’s laugh in the audio, Shane had already seen this in the final cut.

It wasn’t until they were all done laughing like crazy that Ryan, red cheeks and watery eyes, cleared his throat and looked back at the camera.

_ “God, remind me to tell everyone to edit that out.” _

_ “Too late, Bergara. The world knows you’re kinky.” _ Matt said out of frame, Ryan rolled his eyes.  _ “And that you are getting dick from Bigfoot!” _

_ “Matt!” _ Ryan and Katie said together.

_ “Ryan, man, we all know you guys are a thing now. Don’t worry.” _ TJ said, Ryan was frowning while everyone around him agreed.

_ “Yeah, it would be easier if you guys just told me and I can talk to HR.” _ Katie added.  _ “But I get it! First months discretion and all.” _

_ “But just so you know…”  _ Devon started.  _ “We are super happy for you guys.” _

Shane followed the movement of Ryan’s fingers. He had started to nervously play with them while their friends talked, frowning deeper with each word. The man looked down in the video, probably swallowing and thinking on a way to either escape the situation or just say the truth.

His heart was beating so fast, listening to the support their friends could give them, how easy it was for them to believe them a couple just with the way they were with each other. Did Ryan see the same, think the same? He looked upset now, not disgusted at least, but still upset.

_ “But… we aren’t dating.” _ Ryan said, voice small and almost shy, still not looking up.

It had sounded so sad, Shane’s heart stopped and wrinkled like a paper ball.

_ “Come on, I just saw you guys sucking face!” _ Matt laughed, making Ryan look up with wide open eyes. 

Shane stopped breathing, a million things going around his head as he tried to think when this may have happened, how— they were always so discreet, when had they been so weak? Was he talking about that trip, about the Lighthouse—

_ “No, we—“ _

_ “Dude, it’s fine.”  _ Matt insisted.  _ “Damn, you are so pale! Ryan, it’s okay.” _

_ “Maybe we should…” _ Devon sounded closer, probably near TJ and the audio recorder.  _ “Stop filming?” _

_ “Uh?” _ There was a pause, maybe them looking at Katie for what to do.  _ “No, let’s keep going. Ryan? You okay, bud? Should we keep rolling?” _

_ “Yeah.” _ He answered.  _ “Yeah, just… you saw us kissing?” _

_ “Yeah…” _ Answered Matt.

_ “When?” _

_ “When we were on top the Lighthouse?” _ Answered Matt, and Shane hit his own face with one hand. Damn, they really were that stupid.  _ “I just… pretended to be going up after you guys were done.” _

_ “Holy shit. Don’t tell that to Shane.” _

There was a long pause, people moving awkwardly and Ryan looking down, still playing with his fingers, looking uncharacteristically shy.

_ “Why?” _ Katie asked.

_ “Look…” _ Ryan said, looking at his left, probably at Katie.  _ “We aren’t dating. I can’t really tell you what is going on, but it’s nothing bad.” _ He visibly swallowed.  _ “We are okay.” _

_ “You don’t sound too okay…” _ Devon said.

_ “No, I am.” _ Ryan smiled but still looked upset, sad.  _ “But yeah, don’t pester Shane with that? Please? I’ll talk to him.”  _ He shook his head, looking nervous.  _ “But yeah, he is not my daddy!” _

Moving his head to one side, Shane blinked again and examined Ryan’s tone and face as he had said that, almost as if he was sad about it not being true and was trying to mask it by being funny. The guys laughed with him, all sounding as uncomfortable and almost as sad as Ryan seemed.

He paused the recording, thinking of a year ago and Ryan calling him  _ papa _ , clinging to him when he was so scared he stopped thinking, obeying his every word for such small and sometimes big things.

Fear and nervousness made Ryan reveal such interesting things, it was becoming a pattern now, one Shane couldn’t just ignore anymore.

“Shit…”

Not when his pants became thicker, his mind began projecting one hundred and three different scenarios where he discovered once and for all if the shit Ryan said while in this state was true. Not when the man sounded so sad at the fact that they weren’t actually dating, like if the situation made him upset, as if he wanted them to be a  _ thing _ .

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to relax and lose his erection, slightly squeezing it with his hand under his desk as he breathed in and out.

It was time to talk to Ryan.

* * *

Shane remembered being on top of the Lighthouse, the lights of the city and the sound of the sea, Ryan’s breathing and his shining eyes looking like stars, glowing like the moon, or a sun that had graced him with its presence at night. 

He had dreamt of it a few weeks ago, a memory so beautiful he couldn’t help but carry it with him everywhere.

The air up there had felt light, cooler than the rest of the place and the day that had been so hot. Ryan’s smile had been big, looking at the city and the sea beyond them, watching shooting stars behind Shane, claiming the place as his with his larger-than-life presence; a place he would like to come back one day, just to see and just to remember.

Shane had felt so attracted to Ryan in that moment, as if the man was a magnet and he needed to gravitate towards him. He had taken two steps, making Ryan look up at him.

Unsure but not stepping away from Shane, Ryan had looked at him in expectation as Shane had slowly approached him and leaned towards his face. He had to bend kind of a lot just to kiss him, but Shane would be on his knees in a heartbeat if Ryan wanted, and so he had bent down and kissed him softly on the lips.

As such, the kiss wasn’t a big deal. They had kissed so many times by then, sloppy and lazy, passionate and lustful, but this still felt  _ different _ . 

Ryan didn’t touch him at all, but responded to his kiss as soft and as devoted as Shane had felt for him in that moment. He wanted Ryan to know his feelings with that kiss, and Shane hoped the man knew.

The air was warm around them as Shane deepened the kiss by moving his head to one side and opened his mouth, letting his tongue touch Ryan’s lips , who immediately let him in, mouth welcoming and warm as Shane knew him.

It still felt new, almost holy in the way it was different from their more sexual kisses. This one felt as if both wanted to say something else, make sure the other knew exactly how they were feeling.

When they went apart, Ryan’s eyes were still closed and the stars shone for him and his smile when he finally looked at Shane. He had swallowed then, didn’t see it coming that Ryan would be so happy for his kiss alone.

They didn’t do PDA, they weren’t a couple. It had been the first time they ever kissed in a public place, where the crew could see, and Ryan wasn’t upset or pushing him aside.

Instead, he had wound his arms around Shane’s waist, hugged him until his face was cuddled on his chest and Shane smiled, hugging Ryan back and burying his nose in his hair, kissing the top of his head without a second thought.

Neither had said a word. There was no reason for that to happen. But Shane cherished every second of that memory, kept it close to his heart.

When nothing happened after and things kept getting tense, Shane broke up their pact, asked Ryan to just be his friend, saying he cared too much about him and their relationship to lose him over sex “or something like that”.

Ryan hadn’t fought him, he had just nodded and looked at his feet, suddenly walking away from Shane and sleeping on his side, giving Shane his back as they shared a room, their most awkward night since the beginning of Unsolved.

It now made him wonder if he had a chance back then, if he still may have one.

Maybe he had it all this time and he didn’t see it until now, like the idiot he was. Maybe he wouldn’t have to take crumbs where a banquet may be waiting for him, if he put on his big boy pants and talked to Ryan, confessed his feelings, was honest once and for all.

Shane swallowed, putting a hand on his neck as he saw his reflection in the mirror.

They had an appearance in another YouTube show today, and he had put on a special effort to look nice. Not just for the show, he thought as he sent Sara and Kelsey a mirror selfie for their approval, but because  _ today was the day _ .

He was going to ask Ryan on a date.

After swallowing, he breathed in and then out, blinking as he looked in the mirror, reminding himself that there was still a chance for rejection and that maybe he had fucked up things with Ryan when he broke off the fuckbuddy thing. 

For a second, Shane wondered if it would be worth a try, if in case it went kaput, he would be able to still have the man in his life. He couldn’t lose Ryan, he couldn’t lose that light.

Because Ryan was the warmest person Shane knew.

It wasn’t just the fact that his body temperature was like this, it was everything about him. His voice and laugh, the kindness in him, his shining soul and bright smile. All of him felt like summer, like heat that saves you during winter, warmth that protects you from the rain.

So, when Shane first got inside him, he wasn’t surprised to find out, Ryan’s body was warmth  _ everywhere _ .

“Jesus Christ,” Shane sighed, trying to get away from those thoughts as he moved from his bathroom and into his bedroom.

He swallowed again, the feeling of those memories lingering in the air but giving him certain strength. Nobody looks at their fuckboddy the way Ryan had looked at him during the length of their affair. 

_ Today _ was  **the** day.

* * *

“Wha… what are you wearing? What— what is that? A turtleneck?”

Shane swallowed, maybe it had been a bad idea. “Yup!”

Ryan blinked, frozen in place as he looked Shane up and down, eyes open wide for some reason. He frowned at the sight, unsure of what it meant and wondering if the girls had been wrong, and the outfit hadn’t been as good as they assured him it was.

“You— you look like a  _ daddddd _ … A dad!” Ryan said, Shane frowned and looked down at himself. “It’s, It’s a little strange. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a turtleneck before…”

“Uh…” Shane looked at him, noticing Devon and Katie watching them from the other side of the set. “Sure you have, I wear them all the time.”

“No, no… I don’t.” Ryan swallowed visibly and the small action sparked curiosity in Shane. “It’s weird…”

What the hell was going on?

“No, it’s just clothes.” Shane answered, stepping into Ryan’s space. The man didn’t move away, but crossed his arms over his chest. “So I look like a  _ dad _ ?” Shane arched an eyebrow, Ryan only nodded. “Is this feeding into your daddy kink or something?”

Ryan looked up immediately, eyes impossibly wide. Shane swallowed, hoping his boldness wasn’t for naught, that he had hit the right spot to take them into the conversation he wanted to have with Ryan.

“I, I don’t know what you are talking about.” Ryan said and Shane couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ry,” He smiled. “Like, episode’s confession aside, I slept with you for almost five months. You really think I wouldn’t put two and two together?”

Ryan looked away, Shane felt his hands sweat. Was he being too loud? Too pushy? He bit the inside of his cheek, looking around to notice everyone was minding their own business. They shouldn’t have this conversation here, maybe he should ask—

A hand touched his, Shane looked down and saw Ryan taking one of his fingers, timidly tugging at it for him to follow. They left the set together, quickly walking towards an empty area on the same floor, where no one could hear whatever Ryan had to say.

The man was giving Shane his back when they arrived, silently pacing around until he stopped and Shane swallowed, hands into fists, sweating like a teenager talking to his crush.

For crying out loud, he had seen this man naked more times than he cared to count. He had been inside him, had let Shane fuck him in all ways imaginable. Why was he so fucking nervous about a conversation?

“I, when— I mean,” Ryan started, turning around and looking at Shane for a few seconds, then down. “I’m sorry…”

“No.” Shane said simply, crossing the area to stand in front of Ryan, both hands on his shoulders. “Baby, I noticed because I’m into it, too…”

Ryan looked up, there was still worrisome on his face but a tiny bit of curiosity that made Shane smile. Confessing this was easier than simply asking for an upgrade in their relationship, friends to lovers was a great trope for a reason and Shane wanted Ryan to know exactly that.

“Come on, I answer when you call me papa. Don’t even hesitate, just answer.” He reminded Ryan, the man chuckled but kept himself closed off. Shane sighed, looking around before cradling Ryan’s face with his hands. “Look, why don’t we discuss this…” 

The way Ryan was looking at him now, waiting for what he had to say was honest to God intimidating. Shane swallowed, distracting himself by caressing Ryan’s round cheeks, reminding himself that it was now or never.

Asking him out shouldn’t be hard.

“Over dinner tonight?” He finally said, smiling at Ryan. “My treat!”

Ryan arched an eyebrow, his lips were slightly open before he licked between them.

“You are taking me out to dinner?” He sounded annoyed, Shane swallowed and begged the world to swallow him in that moment. “As bros?”

Holy shit, was he really going to— alright, maybe he deserved it.

“No, I mean—”

“I thought you said we were better off as friends.”

Shane swallowed again but his mouth felt dry. There was tension between them he didn’t like, that was going to cause everyone to turn around when they passed and wonder what had happened. 

Katie was so not gonna like it. 

Sara was going to kill him.

“Ry—“

“Where?”

Shane felt panic take over him, but he swallowed it all and hid it with a smile. “Wherever my baby wants.” He said, Ryan arched both his eyebrows and looked expectating but not taken aback by the name or the proposal in spite of being so clearly annoyed by Shane’s mixed signals. “It’s a date.”

He wasn’t sure from where he got the confidence, but it was done now. Ryan relaxed visibly and put both hands on Shane’s chest, making him look down at said hands. So far, he didn’t seem disgusted or offended, hell, not even surprised. 

Ryan’s expression was neutral now, but he was soon smiling up at Shane with a spark of something Shane wasn’t sure he had known of before. But it made him somehow thirsty.

“Okay.” He answered. “Can be wherever I want?”

“Yeah.”

“Mmm...” He smiled, there was something playful in there that Shane knew was going to cost him a lot. 

But Ryan leaned towards his face, in public, and kissed his cheek gently, in public, making Shane freeze where he was standing, in public.

“Okay.” He said, sighing happily as he went away from Shane. “Let’s get to work, big guy.”

And then he was gone.

“Uh.”

* * *

When it all started, Sara and Kelsey had went out on a date and his roommate asked for the apartment to be empty for her return.

To crash Ryan’s house wasn’t his idea of fun for the weekend, it always smelled of alcohol on Saturdays and his friends were funny, yes, but also jocks and Shane had never been great at sports and sports people.

But sports guy Ryan was still his friend, and was still the guy he had fallen for a while back and for who he would do pretty much anything. Apparently, that included having sex without strings beyond friendship attached. Or something like that.

“You are in love with him, just with that, the friends with benefits thingy doesn’t work.” Sara had reminded him when he told her about it, his brother at her side nodding as the three of them sat in the pool area of their building. “Tell him, Finn, tell him he’s being an idiot.”

“You are being an idiot.” Scott said without even looking at him, making Shane roll his eyes and wonder when had Sara decided to call him just Finn.

“I’m being an idiot.” He admitted, though. Because he was.

Idiot or not, the months passed. He had gotten used to Ryan’s calls at strange hours of the early morning when it was still dark and his sheets were stuck on him. 

Shane was now used to the sound of a Lakers game in the afternoon and the smell of burritos at night, popcorn that pops in the dark and tastes of way too much butter and salt because Ryan needed it to be swimming on it for some reason.

He knew his body, and the faces he made when he was enjoying himself, when something else was new but pleasant, and when he had reached that state that always made him smile after.

If Ryan didn’t love him, at least these moments still belonged to Shane. He would store them in his heart forever, respect whatever Ryan wanted to do with his life and whoever he wanted to be part of it.

Now, as he watched him order for the two of them in some fancy steak restaurant he had driven them to, Shane hoped he could be that person.

“You better not be looking forward to bankrupt me, Bergara.” He joked, the man rolled his eyes but didn’t do or say a thing. “How much advantage of my generosity are you gonna take?”

“As much as I can.” Ryan answered, looking at the wine menu until his finger landed on one. “A bottle of this, please.”

“Christ Almighty…” He sighed, as if he wasn’t ready to spent his entire savings on whatever Ryan wanted.

The man gave him a look, one Shane had seen before but never directed at him. It made him swallow but smile, butterflies flying around his empty stomach, wanting to be set free and round Ryan, rejoice in his light.

Shane sighed, listening to Sara’s little  _ ‘hehehehe’ _ laugh at his stupidly-in-love thoughts inside his head.

“So…” Ryan started once the waiter had left, and Shane focused his entire attention on him. “Is… there a reason you’re being so kind?”

He could tell him right now the truth,  _ “I’ve been in love with you for a while, I want us to try and be a couple now. If that’s okay by you” _ , or he could just talk about how cute Ryan had looked that morning as he walked in with his glasses on and his hair still messy from having woken up a bit late.

Or, he could tell him about how handsome he had looked while filming for Couch Tomatoes, and that he liked the way Ryan sounded when detailing a theory and how people seemed to like it as well. Maybe even mention the fact that discovering his little kink had inspired a strange confidence he didn’t think he had.

But instead, Shane only smiled and winked at him.

“Nothing in particular.”

“Uhmmm…” The man exclaimed, distracting himself with his phone. “I thought you had changed your mind and wanted us to start fucking again.”

He was bitter about it, Shane could see that now. He should have known better. 

Shane licked between his lips, looking at every single place but Ryan before sighing and finally putting his eyes on him.

Ryan had changed his clothes a third time that day, skinny black jeans and his pink button down that honestly made him look like a model. His hair was styled now, glasses still on. A damn dream.

“You look good.” Shane murmured, a little bit surprised by how silent they were as if either of them were ever at a loss of words around the other.

“Oh, thank you. I’m glad you like how I look,” He said, looking up at Shane. “I dressed up like this thinking you may like it.”

The thing was, Shane wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. This was pure torture.

“Ryan—“

“I’m very confused right now.” Ryan said first, Shane looked at him and closed his mouth, listening. “I don’t know if you want us to be friends and only friends like you said during every fucking episode this season… or you want to fuck me… or what? What the hell do you want?”

Before he could answer, their bottle of wine arrived and with it, glasses that were immediately filled. Shane took his, controlling himself into taking a normal sip instead of drinking the entire thing in one gulp. He saw Ryan not giving a fuck, drinking half of it and then leaving the glass on the table with a bit too much force.

Shane swallowed, feeling a bitter taste instead of the sweetness of the wine.

“Ry, I’m sorry I broke our arrangement.” He said after a while, Shane could feel Ryan’s eyes on him. “I didn’t know you were this upset.”

“Sure, you just kept poking the wound, repeating to me daily we were friends.”

“Ryan, I didn’t know.”

This had been a bad idea. Neither of them said anything after, until Ryan sighed and looked at him again. Shane slowly looked back. It never occurred to him, really, that ending things between them could be a  _ wound _ to Ryan. That he wasn’t the only one left with a void in their life when thinking of how the other saw that relationship, thinking it was better than nothing.

“I still don’t know what you want.”

Shane blinked, his jaw tensed and his brain started to storm way too many possible answers, none of them good enough.

“I… I thought all I would be to you was a quick fuck.” So, the truth in the worst kind of words came out. Shane bit his tongue afterwards, seeing as Ryan’s shoulders fell and his face changed from one of annoyance to one of sad incredulity. “I’m sorry. I wanted to protect myself and our friendship. Because even if I was happy having sex with you and pretending it was something else, the idea of one day losing that and eventually losing our friendship, that just…” He shrugged, feeling defeated. “I don’t want a world where we aren’t friends.”

The silence that followed shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it actually did. Shane looked up to find Ryan frowning, looking at the basket with bread on their table. He saw him take his glass of wine, drinking the rest of it so fast, it made Shane dizzy.

Right away, the waiter appeared to refill the glass, asking if everything was in order and reminding them their food was to come any time now. Shane smiled at him, dismissing him politely before swallowing and clearing his throat.

“Look, what I mean is that…” He sighed. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.” Shane said, looking at Ryan who was still looking everywhere but at him. “I didn’t know it was going to. I was really just… I guess I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us.”

“How can it be the right thing?” Ryan murmured. “Shane, I thought we were having fun.”

“We were.” He smiled, holding his glass up. “But I didn’t want it to be just fun.” He took a sip, seeing Ryan’s frown go deeper. “Because… I like you. Beyond our friendship and our bed arrangements.”

“Really?” Ryan’s voice sounded tiny, like when he had answered the crew in the clip, but no longer sad. Ryan sounded almost hopeful. “I like you, too.”

Shane smiled, biting the inside of his cheek to stop himself from bursting into laughing-crying. He looked down and took a deep breath before offering his open hand to Ryan over the table. The man looked at it for a few seconds, slowly putting his fingers on his palm, caressing it as Shane’s skin filled with goosebumps.

Ryan kept making circles on his hand, not saying anything, doing nothing else. After almost an entire minute, he shook his head and Shane’s shoulders tensed again, afraid of what may come now.

“How come my daddy kink gave you the strength of finally telling me this?”

Shane chuckled, unsure if it was okay to laugh or not. If the way Ryan had looked at him was any indication, perhaps it wasn’t the time.

“I… Well, I just thought… That if you,” Why was it so hard to explain, how was Shane able to say this to Sara so easily and now he was at a loss of words? “I mean, I noticed that… I think you like it when I’m…”

“Yeah?”

“I think you like me when I take care of you.” He said, finally firm. “You also like it when I’m dominant and stern with you, I think it may have something to do with this kink. And your submissive tendencies.”

Ryan chuckled at that now, his face was blushing and the sight made Shane relax a little bit. He wasn’t denying anything, maybe Shane was on the right path to a new beginning.

“I’m not saying that you  _ are _ , just that—“

“I am.” Ryan interrupted. “And I know… I know you do it, too.”

For a second, his brain felt like melting on itself. But then, Shane was arching an eyebrow because this, this he could work with. With the fact that he hadn’t imagined things and somehow, his lucky star had smiled at him and served this on a silver plate.

But, like many times before, Ryan was a step ahead of him. 

“That still doesn’t answer what I just asked. I want to know, what is this supposed to mean? Because last time we tried the fuck and chill route, I ended up way too confused.” He said, visibly swallowing. “And I don’t like not talking to you.”

After a short pause, their food arrived. Both looked at the waiter as he served their plates, asking again if everything was okay as he refilled Shane’s glass. Having the seconds to think of his answer and encouraged by the night’s revelations, Shane smiled at Ryan and finally talked his mind.

“I love you.” He said, seeing the moment the confession made sense to Ryan, his eyes slightly opened wider. “I’ve… been in love with you for a while. And I want to take care of you in any way you’ll let me. Seeing you say so sadly that we weren’t a couple and how much you didn’t want me to know what you said and what Matt saw, made me think… that maybe, somehow, somewhere… you may feel a little bit like me.”

Their food was getting cold. It smelled delicious, this stupid steak thing Ryan had ordered for the two of them, with a side of mashed potatoes and grilled vegetables with cheese, the sweet sauce on it made Shane salivate the second it had arrived but right now, all he could think of was how easy that had been, and how much it was taking Ryan to say something.

“I mean—”

“Okay.” Ryan finally said. “I did dress up to impress you. I was hoping you’d want me again.”

Shane stopped thinking for a second, slowly losing the shock until he realized what was Ryan trying to do. Ryan, who looked more nervous by the second, who was waiting for him to get the memo and continue what he had started.

He arched an eyebrow, hoping his heart wouldn’t just run into Ryan’s. “You dolled yourself up for me?”

“Oh God…” Ryan snorted, sounding more nervous than amused, his face alive with color. He couldn’t look at Shane now, but every time he tried, Shane couldn’t help but smile at how sweet he looked. “Yeah, yeah— I think I did.”

“I see my baby wants to spoil me.” Shane sighed, relaxing as he got into character, the thrill of doing so in public and _with_ _Ryan_ was making everything feel more euphoric, even in the calm of the restaurant and its dim light. “Then, I guess I should go all in. He deserves all the good things.”

“Uh.” Ryan looked away, biting his bottom lip. “You are taking it seriously…”

“Of course I do.” He cleared his throat. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I…” He swallowed visibly, looking at their hands. “I don’t know. Maybe not here.”

“I can stop if you want me to.”

Ryan shook his head no.

“I thought the guys had shown you the clip the night it happened.” Ryan said without looking at him, tracing figures on the palm of his hand again. “I was relieved that you never brought it up, thought you have taken it as a joke.”

“Was it?”

Ryan shook his head again, Shane felt his entire body relax even when he hadn’t realized how tense the current conversation had him. Even unsure of Ryan’s feelings, he was at least certain that things were going in the right direction.

The little guy wouldn’t do this with just anyone.

“I’ve never done this with someone I’m not dating…”

Shane closed his hand, surprising himself and Ryan.

The man looked up at him and Shane swallowed, trying to remain calm as he thought fast on what to say, how to proceed. If Ryan was still seeing him as his fuckbuddy, there wasn’t much he could do even after confessing his feelings.

The idea alone made him want to throw up out of nervousness.

“Shane?”

“Sorry,” he slowly removed his hand, occupying himself with his food. 

He could tell Ryan was still looking at him, but eventually got to his food as well. Shane had been right, the sauce of the steak made things sweeter, the air had become something else once he started to feed his nervousness with delicious food.

Ryan cleared his throat and Shane looked at him right away.

“You asked me out.” Ryan said again, he sounded like a broken record as he blinked a couple of times. Shane watched his face in search of a sign that this wasn’t going to end as badly as it seemed a few seconds ago. “Shane, you—”

“I did.” Shane answered, Ryan’s eyes were on him, shining like that night in the Lighthouse. Shane swallowed. “I… told you how I feel about you, I understand if you don’t feel the same way.”

“I—“ Ryan swallowed visibly and Shane sighed, already missing the fact that he wasn’t about to keep eating like he wanted.

Ryan shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I just— I don’t, I don’t think I’m ready to say it back.”

Silence left room to a lot of things when it wasn’t comfortable. It gave chance for fantasy to take over, form ideas that weren’t what the other person was actually feeling or thinking.

But this, this he could understand.

“Okay. So, uh— this is a date, that was my intention. Is that okay?” Ryan looked up at him at least, nodding. “Good, then— I would like us to date. That okay, too?”

Ryan nodded again, looking concerned. Shane wished he’d knew how to take that expression off his face.

“I don’t mind if you can’t say it back, but…” Shane swallowed. “You think one day… you may be able to?”

“Yeah…” He said, cheeks pink. His words made Shane smile, heart beating fast. “I do, I—I’m sorry—“

“No, hey… Why are you apologizing?” Shane took the hand Ryan had on the table, making him look at their hands joined over it. “I’m so sorry I was such a coward, I should have asked you out since the beginning.”

“I didn’t asked you out either…” He admitted, looking up with a little smile. “I thought maybe… I don’t know.”

“Yeah.” Shane chuckled, smiling wide and so, so stupid. “Me, too.”

“We are idiots.”

“Totally.” He smiled. “But now that we are here… would you let me take care of you?”

Ryan chuckled, his face looked sweet in pink, his body relaxed. It made Shane sigh as he saw him laugh and gain that giddiness of when they were playful in private. 

He held Ryan’s hand in his, Ryan was a big guy himself, but in spite of the muscles, he was still so much smaller than Shane, it made him feel  _ things _ .

His hand was normal, but looked small in Shane's. He couldn’t help himself but stare.

“You already take good care of me, sir.” Ryan said, sounding more confident. It reminded Shane that he had done this before and so, he wouldn’t need to hold back. “You are spoiling me.”

“Rotten.” Shane admitted, Ryan seemed to like that. He took his glass of wine with his free hand, holding it high.

Shane took his, gently touching it with Ryan’s. “And it begins.”

Ryan shook his head, rolling his eyes. “You are the worst.”

He laughed, heart growing in his chest as it settled in his mind: he got the guy.

“And wait until you see how much cheesier I can get!”

* * *

Loving Ryan had come to him as easy as breathing, in fact Shane wasn’t sure when he had fallen in love and only realized when he was asked last December by his father if he was planning on ever acting on his feelings.

Shane had looked at his dad for what felt like several minutes before starting to laugh. It had been half in nervousness and half in wonder at suddenly being aware of how much he felt for his friend.

Having shared these feelings to him tonight, it felt like coming home.

After dinner, Shane bathed on Ryan’s laugh as they drove under the city lights, thinking of what was ahead and how he could relax now.

His shoulders felt light, Shane was sure he was floating like in some sort of dream. But in reality he was just there, looking at Ryan as he laughed and looked up, cheeks perpetually pink since dinner’s confessions, with the red of the traffic light casting shadows on his face.

“Uhm,” Shane cleared his throat, making Ryan look at him. His hair was messy, but it was on purpose. The soft look it gave Ryan was never going to stop amusing him. “Don’t you wanna come home with me, baby boy?”

Ryan blinked a couple of times, biting his bottom lip as he nodded without taking his eyes away from Shane’s. He was damn good, Shane noted as an electric jolt went up his body from his crotch.

“Maybe we could discuss our new… partnership further.” Shane suggested, driving once the light turned green.

“Don’t call it that! Just say relationship!” He could feel Ryan moving at his side, “Yeah, I mean… yes.” Ryan said and Shane smiled at him for a few seconds before keeping his eyes on the road ahead. “You didn’t have to drive, by the way.”

“No.” He admitted, “But I prefer to see you relaxed and lose for me.”

Ryan’s eyes were on him again as Shane took a turn, now in the direction of his apartment building. No way he wanted to take Ryan to his own place where his friends would immediately notice what was going on, and since Sara was out of the country… It was a very good opportunity, he would be a fool if he didn’t take it.

“You are just spoiling me.” Ryan murmured, Shane only smiled at him before they burst into laughter.

* * *

Both knew perfectly well what was about to happen as they took the stairs.

They knew it as they drank water in the kitchen and Ryan used the bathroom while Shane let Obi into Sara’s room when he saw the cat standing on her door, almost as if he knew what was about to transpire in Shane’s.

Shane changed the sheets while listening to the water run in his bathroom. He looked at the door, amused at Ryan’s boldness of simply taking whatever he wanted from Shane’s things in the apartment.

He imagined he wanted to clean up, which sent yet another electric yolt up Shane’s body since it was part of how Shane would initiate things between them sometimes, by getting them to clean up.

By the time the bed was ready, Shane had gotten a big glass of water left it on his bed’s side table and Ryan had opened the door of the bathroom.

“I was in there that long?” He asked, looking at the bed. “Shane?”

Shane could hear him, but was too distracted admiring Ryan’s uncovered legs and the fact that he was wearing fresh underwear, probably taking the clothes from Shane’s closet before. But what made him go stand in front of him was the fact that the boxers were Shane’s and they looked long on Ryan.

“Are you comfortable?”

Ryan looked up at him, his glasses giving him a false yet delicious sense of innocence. It wouldn’t surprise Shane if that was the intention all along, Ryan genuinely knew his game and it made him ten times hotter.

“Yeah…” He said, turning his hips slightly to show his ass. “It pools a little over here, but it’s a nice look, isn't it?”

“Did you just called your own ass big?” 

Ryan chuckled, moving past Shane to leave his glasses on the table where he stopped to look at what Shane had left there. When he turned, Shane was already there waiting for him and the man smiled, rounding his neck with his arms.

“Thank you for dinner.” He murmured, they were so damn close, he could feel Ryan’s breathing on his chest and neck. “You went all in.”

“Mmmm, anytime.” Shane answered, kissing him softly as he held Ryan close to him, the warmth of his lips what had been missing from his life these past three weeks. “God, I’ve missed you.”

Ryan laughed, nodding before kissing Shane again, this time with more candor as they slowly moved towards the bed, almost as if they were dancing. Shane pecked his lips a couple of times, opening his eyes to see Ryan’s blush and the way his eyes were asking him many things, reminding him many others, and his heart felt full.

“I thought you said you were going to take care of me, sir.” Ryan said.

“That’s not how I expected you to call me.” Shane caressed Ryan’s nose with his, smiling when he blushed. “Oh, we are fucking, baby. We’ll get there.”

“Ugh!” Ryan closed his eyes and frowned, Shane started to laugh at the sight. “Why would you say it like that? It’s supposed to be magical, you jerk!”

“Alright!” 

Shane put both hands on Ryan’s face, caressing his left cheek with his thumb, slowly getting closer to his face. Ryan was smiling already, waiting for his words when Shane smirked—

“Alakazam! Bing, bang, boom! We shall shag!”

Ryan groaned again, this time breaking their position by pushing him away as Shane laughed, watching him go to the lamp on his table. 

He saw him turn it on, Shane sighed and went to turn off the lights in the room. When he turned back, Ryan was sitting at the edge of the bed on the side he usually took when he stayed, waiting for him like a good boy.

Shane couldn’t help but smile.

Ever so slowly, Shane got on his knees in front of him, Ryan moved his head to one side and waited with his hands over his lap. He opened his legs wide to let Shane get between them, who immediately rounded his hips with his arms, face to face with anticipation cutting the air between them.

“You are a gorgeous angel, you know that?” Shane murmured with a soft smile. “You have to, you know perfectly what you do to me.”

“Uhm,” Ryan blushed, looking down as his fingers grabbed hard at his own skin on his lap. Shane licked his lips and looked back at Ryan’s face. “You are giving too much credit to my dumb ass…”

“Ry, don’t say that.” He frowned. “I won’t let you badmouth my angel!”

Ryan snorted, shaking his head before he cradled Shane’s face in his hands and kissed him softly. He let his lips linger over Ryan’s for a long time, hands feeling up his back up and down, slow and in no hurry.

When they broke apart, Shane stood carefully to make Ryan lay on the bed with him on top as they continued to kiss with closed eyes. His hands were now on Ryan’s chest, one venturing under his button up, making his skin fill with goosebumps at the touch.

He sighed happily, looping his arms around Shane’s neck once they were kissing again, Ryan’s tongue on his mouth as eager as if it was the first time, and shit—he had missed him, had missed this. The warmth of his body and the taste of his lips, the way he giggled as they played with each other.

“Oh,” Shane swallowed, feeling Ryan’s hand already on his crotch. The man squeezed his erection and Shane opened his eyes to find Ryan looking directly at him as he massaged him over his clothes. “Having fun there?”

“I’ve missed you.” He said, a playful smile on his lips. “I want you…”

“Uhm,” Shane leaned down, kissing him again while his hips thrusted on his hand, moaning into Ryan’s mouth. “What does my baby want?” Shane murmured against Ryan’s lips, kissing him again before he could answer.

They kept kissing, Shane slowly readjusting himself until he was able to rut against Ryan’s leg, allowing him the chance to do so as well on Shane’s thigh.

He had an idea of what Ryan had in mind, had many ideas of his own too. He wanted to make him remember why they had been such a great match in bed and wanted him to know he didn't make a bad decision by letting Shane in again, by allowing this new dynamic between them.

Shane wanted Ryan to enjoy himself, love what Shane could give him, the way he could please him. 

He slowly undid his button down, nuzzling at his neck as Ryan’s fingers tangled on his hair. Once it was open, he slid his hands over his chest and down his abdomen, tracing the abs and giving a gentle squeeze to his pecs before starting a path of kisses from his jaw to his clavicle.

Ryan moaned softly, melting under Shane as the man filled his skin with soft kisses, gently murmuring things that made his chest vibrate as Shane’s lips went down on him. 

Their hearts were beating fast, Shane could hear Ryan’s as he gave butterfly kisses near his peck, slowly circling his nipple with his tongue, making Ryan arch his back as he moaned loudly.

“ _ Daddy _ …” He called him and Shane had never felt a pull so strong as the one he got from only listening to Ryan. “Daddy, yes...”

“What,” his voice sounded rough, the dept of it alien to him, “what does my baby want?”

“Kiss me.” 

Shane smiled at Ryan before kissing him, not moving for a long time as they just enjoyed each other’s lips before Ryan moved his head to one side, Shane followed by teasing him with his tongue until he was let in. 

The kiss became harsher, wet noises filling the room as their hips moved together and a strong moan echoed between them when Shane took Ryan by the waist to keep him steady, rubbing himself against Ryan’s crotch, feeling how hard both were.

It made him thirstier, made Shane want to rip off his own clothes and fuck until none of them could walk again. 

As if Ryan could hear his thoughts, his hands went to Shane jacket, sliding it off with Shane’s help. He went to the edge of his shirt, pushing it up desperately until Shane parted from his mouth, lips shining with saliva, red and swollen with usage. He pulled his shirt off, giving Ryan the chance to roll them on the bed, making Shane laugh as he got on top of him.

“Desperate?” He said, crawling back with Ryan following until they were fully on the bed.

“Hungry,” Ryan answered, making Shane laugh again before they were kissing, Ryan’s hands on Shane’s belt and pants, opening everything with desperation until Shane moaned at the sensation of relieving some pressure there. “I want your cock, daddy.”

“Jesus, fuck—“ Shane moaned, a shiver going up his spine. “You’re gonna be the death of me, baby boy…”

Ryan smiled at him, going back to pull Shane’s pants and boxers off. He helped out, lifting his legs and immediately moved to take off Ryan’s last piece of clothing, making him laugh as he pulled down the boxers and took the chance to kiss his belly.

The air around them was warmth, his cock ached for attention but Shane could only think of Ryan.

He kept kissing his abdomen and navel, purposely ignoring his erection until he took it in one hand, giving it a few gentle strokes, feeling him shiver in his arms.

“Daddy, I—“

“Baby, you are killing me.” Shane looked up, Ryan’s hand was on his hair and he leaned his chin on his body, hand lazily stroking his cock. 

Ryan smiled at him, caressing his scalp with gentle fingers.

“I want you to eat me out…” He murmured, Shane took a deep breath and closed his eyes, listening. “And I want you inside me, daddy.”

“Yeah?”

Ryan pulled slightly hard at his hair, Shane let out a soft moan.

He could hear the giddiness when he answered, “I’ve missed your cock…” Shane smiled and put a loud kiss on Ryan’s belly. “My fingers are too small…”

As he kept going, Shane slowly continued to kiss down Ryan’s belly, a hand going to his ass, squeezing his right cheek before letting his fingers caress between them.

The wet sensation on them didn’t faze him as much, instead it made him smirk. Biting his bottom lip as he looked up at Ryan, massaging his rim as Ryan moved his hips, trying to fuck himself on Shane’s finger.

“None of my toys are big enough…”

He moaned at his words, swallowing while his finger started to explore inside Ryan. The man gasped loudly, holding himself with both hands on Shane’s shoulders.

Shane sucked on Ryan’s skin, leaving a big red mark under his groin. 

Listening to Ryan loving his measures was always something else, knowing he was this wanted made him feel…  _ sexy _ . Not even in his wildest dreams did Shane considered himself as such.

“And I know better than to ever compare daddy’s cock to anyone else’s.” Ryan murmured, thrusting up at the feeling of Shane’s finger pushing inside him up a second knuckle, and his lips kissing around the base of his dick. “No one is as good… and big… and, I— Daddy,  _ please _ !”

“Mmm…” Shane hummed against his skin, kissing every inch before sucking on the hilt of his dick, making Ryan moan. Shane smiled, looking up. “You’ll get all you want. Good boys always get rewarded.” He moved his finger, fucking into him a couple of times. “So that was what you were doing in there, uh?”

He nodded, hips moving slightly, trying to get Shane’s finger deeper. He added another one, making Ryan moan and sink his nails on Shane’s shoulders.

“Such a good boy…” Shane murmured, giving his tummy a couple more loud kisses. “I’m gonna eat you whole, make up for lost time.” He kissed the tip of Ryan’s cock and looked up at him, fingers going out of him. “Get on the bed, baby.”

Ryan smiled at him after Shane winked. He moved from under Ryan’s legs, gently pushing him to the bed and Ryan sat down, visibly excited.

“On your hands and knees, sweetheart. Let daddy show you a good time.”

With no objections, Ryan did as told, presenting his ass to Shane who kissed his tailbone before caressing his cheek. He kissed the area, happy to hear Ryan’s little sighs and gasps, soon separating his buttcheeks and humming in approval.

“I like what I see…” He said, licking a single strip between Ryan’s cheeks. “You did good, my boy.”

“Uh-- thank you, daddy.”

“No,” Shane circled Ryan’s rim with the tip of his tongue, the taste of soap and lube making him smile, “thank  _ you _ , baby.”

If Ryan wanted to say something else, he didn’t have to, his loud pleasant sounds made up for whatever words he could use to share his thoughts. He held his weight on his arms, hips up to let Shane work on him, tongue lapping at his hole before sucking on it, making an obscene and loud noise that made Ryan shiver.

Shane smiled at the sight, biting his bottom, thumbs keeping access to Ryan’s entrance. He licked once and twice, hummed in approval, drooling on him before starting to lap again, faster this time, wet sounds echoing in the room along Ryan’s needy moans, a concert Shane didn’t want to lose and that made his cock twitch in desperation for attention.

But he kept his mouth occupied on Ryan, making a mess of themselves, enjoying every second of it. If you asked him, Shane was absolutely an ass man and Ryan had the best one he has ever seen.

He often reminded him of it, making the man either blush or laugh, sometimes roll his eyes, but always with a smile on his face. Right now, he was asking for more of his tongue and his fingers that had been caressing the little sensitive space between his balls and his cock, now finding a new purpose on his rim, opening Ryan wider.

“God, I missed you…” Ryan repeated, cradling his face on his crossed arms under the bed, making Shane smile as he got his hips higher. Shane closed his eyes, tongue as deep in Ryan as possible, making the man moan. “Yes! You are so good at this, daddy…”

The wet sounds and Ryan’s moans, his affection and praise, all made Shane’s cock twitch so he got hold of it, lazily stroking as he kept a rhythm with his tongue and lips, lapping and sucking, going in and out of Ryan, faster each time the man asked for more, just following his commands.

“I wanna come, daddy…”

“Mmm…” Shane exclaimed against his rim, making Ryan vibrate and twitch under him. “Not yet, baby.”

“But daddy, I’m--”

“Nope.” Shane sighed, looking at Ryan’s entrance as he went away. The lack of attention made him whine, looking back at were Shane was admiring his work. “We’ll get there, baby. On your back now.”

Reluctantly, Ryan obeyed as Shane watched, his little petulant expression making Shane smile. He knew Ryan’s roleplay was actually better than what he showed on videos, Shane was truly lucky to see to this side of him, to enjoy him as he had before and as he did now.

Their lips met, soft and deep, an open mouthed kiss that had Ryan moaning as Shane played with his tongue. He could feel his nails on his back, his legs parting wider as their cocks brushed together for a few glorious seconds before their bodies came closer.

Almost immediately, Ryan started to rub himself on Shane’s belly, taking some air before going for another hungry kiss. He still tasted of wine, but most of it was just Ryan-- Shane was addicted to it, to his skin and his scent, the way he did things and was so loud as Shane touched him.

“Fuck me,” Ryan begged, the needy sound of his voice making Shane’s skin fill with goosebumps. “Please, daddy, I need you…”

Shane’s fingers tangled in Ryan’s hair, holding him first to make him look directly into his eyes. “So soon? We’ve just gotten started.”

Ryan whined, rounding Shane’s hips with his legs as he held onto him.

“Please, I promise I’ll be good.” He kept going as Shane went away to admire his naked body under him, his hard cock on his belly with its tip red and glistening in pre-come. “Daddy, I need your cock, I want you to--”

Ryan stopped at the sight of Shane opening his legs and flexing them to his chest, Shane looked up at his face and spoke sternly again. “No, no, keep going. I want to hear you. You need my cock. What else?”

“Uh,” Ryan bit his bottom lip, moving just a tiny bit to give better access to Shane, taking his legs to his chest to keep himself open. “I want you to fuck me so good I can’t talk.”

“Go on.” Shane said, not looking at him as he got one finger inside Ryan. It entered so easily, it was always so easy to prep him, his mouth was watering as he remembered how it felt to be trapped in that warmth.

“I want your big cock to cut me in half, daddy-- I wanna feel it in my tummy.”

His dick twitched, Shane looked back at Ryan, fucking him with two fingers, enjoying the sound the touch caused, how Ryan started to softly moan a few ‘ah, ah, ah’s with his eyes closed.

“I want… I… Daddy…”

“Go on, angel.”

“Fuck me good…” He murmured, clearly struggling to keep his eyes open as he did so. “Fuck me so good I forget my name…” Ryan swallowed visibly, Shane licked his lips and started to stroke Ryan’s cock with his free hand in rhythm with his penetrations. “Fuck…”

“Tell me what else.”

“I--” Ryan started again, eyes closed, frowning in pleasure as Shane scissored his fingers inside him. “Daddy, yes-- it feelssssso good… it’s so good…”

“Ryan.” Shane called him, licking his lips as he twisted his hand just so and Ryan’s eyes snapped open, moaning loudly. “Look at me.” Slowly, the man looked at Shane, and he took the moment as a sign to add another finger, making Ryan arch his back as he moaned. “You are being such a good boy, Ryan… I’m going to fuck you so well, you’ll never want anybody else.”

“I don’t want anyone, no one, just you…” He said, the honesty in his eyes as well as the need in his tone made Shane’s heart ache. Even if he couldn’t say it yet… Yes. “Please, daddy, I want you!”

“You want me?”

“Yes, please, please, please, fuck me…”

“How much you want me, baby?”

“So much…” He moaned, fingers looking white where he was holding himself to give access to Shane. “So much, I want you… to fuck me and fill me, it’ll feel so good, daddy…”

“Yeah?” Shane’s dick throbbed again, Shane licked his lips as he felt Ryan’s do the same. “You want me to fill you up?”

“Mhm.” He answered, starting to sound out of his mind, Shane slowed down his strokes and thrusts, Ryan’s chest was going up and down heavily. “I want you to feel you come in me, daddy…”

“Yes?”

“I want to feel it drop out of me, I want it all in me…”

“Fuck…” He swallowed, “Turn around, sweetheart. On your knees.”

Ryan obeyed quickly, moving on the bed as Shane held his own cock, giving himself a few strokes as he looked for the lube. He got himself behind Ryan, kissing his back and shoulders as his hands were busy preparing his cock for him. Shane groaned against Ryan’s skin, hand stroking his dick faster now that was coated in lube.

He swallowed, one hand carefully on Ryan’s navel and the other guiding his cock into him. With the tip at his entrance, Shane kissed his neck, sucking little marks and biting when he found his pulse, making Ryan moan, then Shane heard him gasp when he entered him in one smooth move.

“You feel so good, baby…” He murmured in his ear, Ryan shivered against his chest and Shane bit his bottom lip. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“Desperate if you don’t move soon, daddy.” Ryan answered, making Shane smile as he held Ryan in place by the hips. “Please, just…”

“Come on… Enjoy it, baby boy.” He said, kissing behind Ryan’s ear as he felt him shiver again.

He was so close to give in and just fucking Ryan as he was begging. But he wanted him to enjoy it some more, show Shane how much he wanted this, that this was exactly what he wanted. Ryan leaned his back on Shane’s chest, looking back.

Understanding what he wanted, Shane kissed him, softly moaning as Ryan got a hand in his hair, tugging at it slightly to get him closer. His eyes opened slowly when they parted ways, a tin string of saliva still joining their lips together. 

“Please, daddy…”

Shane let go of all the air in his lungs, feeling a pang of pleasure in his bottom belly. “You beg so prettily, my boy, how could I deny you anything?”

“I… mmm…” He murmured with eyes closed, rubbing his face tenderly on Shane’s. “Just want you so badly, daddy…”

Ryan looked beautiful in the dim light of Shane’s room, rocking his hips up and down, trying to fuck himself on Shane’s cock. His dick was dripping pre-come, eyes closed as he mumbled things Shane couldn’t understand but made him smile.

He put a hand around Ryan’s neck, still amazed at the strength of his boyfriend’s body and the thickness of it. Shane managed to make him keep his position on his knees in the bed with Shane also on his knees behind him, cock deep inside him, warm and happy, but oh so desperate to have more of Ryan. 

So he moved, pulling out of Ryan almost all the way, his cockhead inside him, then thrusting in as hard as he could, making Ryan moan so loud, all Shane could do was smirk and hope not to get a call for disturbing the neighbors. Again.

He went out, then in, deeper each time until he adjusted his dick inside Ryan, angling it enough to hit his sweet spot with each new thrust.

“Yes!” Ryan moaned, breaking their position to put both hands on the mattress, gripping the sheets as hard as he could. “Harder—”

Shane swallowed, letting himself enjoy this as much as he wanted Ryan to. Holding him in place, he thrusted harder, gradually going faster until Ryan was moaning his name, asking for more and more. And Shane wanted him to have it all, to have everything he wished for in him and all Shane could offer.

He thrusted harder, faster, angled himself until he was hitting Ryan’s prostate better, if it was possible, and groaned against his shoulder blades, sweat going down his back and arms. 

Shane tasted Ryan’s skin, biting where he knew nobody would see, left red marks that would burn when brushing clothes, that would remind Ryan he had been there, he had made him feel this full and complete, and had made him come with only his cock pounding into him.

“Fuck!” Ryan moaned, knees weak as he lost balance and collapsed into the mattress. 

He smiled, pulling out of him to help change positions. Shane sat on the bed, urging Ryan to sit on his lap, holding him firm as the man made himself comfortable in the familiar space, looking into Shane’s eyes.

When  _ this  _ had started, Shane hadn’t hoped it would be more than sex. 

He knew Ryan needed it, the loneliness both felt as they spent most of their days together at work, talking about the things that had gone wrong and the curves Ryan’s life had taken, he knew Ryan needed the relief, the agreement of having his friend at the same time he was having safe sex with someone that cared for him.

“Shane,”

“I know what you want.” He smiled. “I know what you need, baby… You deserve it all.”

Ryan nodded, smiling a little before placing his arms around Shane’s neck, over his shoulders. He leaned his forehead on Shane’s, closing his eyes as Shane directed his dick back inside him with a hand, hugging his waist before starting to thrust into him again.

This was the man he loved, the one that tangled his fingers in his long hair and tugged at it when he hit the right spot. Shane wasn’t sure when it had happened, but he loved Ryan like he hadn’t anyone before and he was truly amazed at the fact that he was allowed to have him, like this and as his boyfriend, to be allowed into such wonderful man like him, it made him feel full.

Ryan wasn’t to last much longer like this and Shane was sure he would follow, as he always did. 

He let Ryan slowly gain control of the movement, hips moving in rhythm with his until he was bouncing as fast and as hard as he wanted on Shane’s lap, fucking himself on his dick as Shane held himself up with his arms on the bed.

His fingers left their mark on Shane’s skin, taking leverage on his shoulders as he rode him and Shane couldn’t wait to see the red marks later. Marks like the ones Ryan was sporting all over his naked body, of teeth and lips, and kisses he wouldn’t be able to erase until they were gone with the passing of time.

Like this, it looked like Ryan was Shane’s, so close together that nobody could tell where one started and the other finished, and it was all a dream come true.

Ryan’s eyes opened, he looked at Shane with his mouth open as he moaned, asking for permission to come, to know if he had been good, was he doing alright? Was this okay? Shane smiled at him, kissing that perfect face on those perfect lips, wanting Ryan to know he was it, he was heavenly and made perfect to be loved.

And Shane had loved him, and the idea of him, for the longest time.

“You are amazing, sweetheart…” Shane assured him, dick throbbing inside Ryan as his orgasm built in his bottom belly. “God, you are perfect!”

“Daddy—“

“Angel, yes—“ His hands went to Ryan’s waist, pushing him into the bed. His legs were soon on Shane’s shoulders, a wide smile on his face as Shane fucked faster into him. “Fuck, angel—“

“Yes, yes, daddy— please!”

“Fuck, fuck—” Shane said at the same time Ryan had started to chant, “Make me come, make me come, make come—” and neither could stop. His movements were erratic even if faster, the bed moving with them until Ryan’s ass clenched around Shane’s cock and he was coming. 

Ryan came between their bellies, untouched, only pleased by Shane’s cock and his infinite care for him. It was deliriously good, the feeling of seeing Ryan climax and immediately smile, eyes glassy and looking at Shane.

“Oh fuck, yes…” Ryan mumbled, Shane was coming inside him, filling him with his seed as his dick twitched in him, so tenderly overstimulated, it made Ryan moan louder and Shane smile wider. “That’s so good, daddy… ah, oh god.”

Shane sighed, filling Ryan’s face with kisses, hugging him closer to his body and he watched Ryan come back from his high, the complete serene expression on his face more beautiful than ever. He smiled, leaning over to kiss him softly, calling him sweet names and telling him how good he had done between kisses and little giggles.

“That was amazing.” Ryan murmured against his neck, several minutes later as they rested.

Shane smiled, swallowing before looking down to find Ryan looking up with a huge smile. “Yeah?”

“You are good at this…”

“At fucking?” He said, making Ryan laugh and roll his eyes. Shane bit his bottom lip, watching as he moved to lay half on top of Shane. “Mmm?”

“Yeah, that… but also…” Ryan pecked his lips, Shane closed his eyes as he felt his finger caress his forehead and nose. “You’re a good daddy…”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, certain he was blushing at such thing. “Uh, that’s… that’s good to know, sweetheart.”

“I want us to keep doing this. Is that okay?”

Shane nodded, opening his eyes to smile at his boyfriend. “Absolutely, angel.” He sighed, one hand on Ryan’s cheek, the man leaned on his touch. “My gorgeous angel…”

“Mi más amado.” Ryan murmured, kissing the palm of his hand before sighing and laying on Shane’s chest.

“What does that mean?”

“Uhm,” Ryan answered. “You’ll find out later, daddy.”

All he could do was smile, hugging the man to his chest, enjoying the sound of his laughter as they laid together on his bed.

* * *

Dazed as he felt, Shane smiled in his dreams at the warm feeling on his face. He felt it first on his cheek, then in the corner of his mouth, one on his closed eye, again on his chin, more on his temple, and another on the tip of his nose.

He yawned, lazily he opened his eyes slowly to find Ryan’s little smile as he lay half on his chest again. Shane smiled at him, the soft rays of the sun filtering through his curtains, hitting a beautiful line on Ryan’s skin.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” He murmured.

“Good morning, daddy…”

Shane closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of that word and smiling at the memory of the night before, where they stood now.

“Did my baby slept well?”

“Mhm.” Ryan answered, tracing figures on Shane’s chest with one finger. Shane licked his lips and smiled at him.

His mouth tasted of sex, Shane knew Ryan’s would too if he kissed him. Instead, he stayed in his place, caressing Ryan’s cheek as he felt his fingers get into his probably wild hair. The man was hard, he could feel his erection pressed against his thigh, and Shane smiled at him.

“Something you want?”

“Breakfast?” He said, blushing as he slightly rubbed himself on Shane.

Shane kissed him, moving on the bed to coax Ryan on top of him, smiling when the man started a path of open-mouthed kisses down his neck, knowing he’d leave his mark there.

“Anything you want, baby.”

Ryan moaned, happily kissing Shane again as the heat went up.

* * *

The Lighthouse had gotten something out in Ryan, and Shane wondered that night if it was just the fright of its echo as he was investigating alone, or if their little moment at the top had anything to do with it.

Ryan was the strongest and bravest person Shane knew.

Not only because he put himself in places he thought dangerous and filled with his own nightmares, but because he was aware enough of himself to ask himself when he thought he was wrong, when he thought there was something he should work on. 

He may seem hard on himself sometimes, but once he knew what was wrong or what he wanted, he always found the way to fix it and have it.

Shane loved that about him. He loved that passion and determination, it inspired him and made him feel proud when they stood together, when Ryan would lean on him at his worst, allow him to see him like this, to let him help.

It made him feel important, and let him know he counted on Ryan too, that they were safe with each other.

He smiled at him, seeing him breathe in and out, and Shane chuckled.

“Easy, easy…” He murmured again, making Ryan look up as the crew finished getting everything into the van. “It’s okay, man. You’ll take a bath and a long nap after this.”

“I don’t want to wake up until next month.”

Shane nodded, passing an arm over his shoulders. “Sounds good, I’m in.”

“Uhm.” Ryan leaned his head on Shane’s body and he swallowed. “Sleep with me tonight?”

He licked his lips, suddenly nervous in spite of how many times they have slept together by now, in more than one sense. This thing with Ryan, it was… it was driving him crazy.

“I just… well,” Ryan looked up, Shane kept silent as he let the man speak. “I actually feel safe with you.” He blinked, Shane’s heart started to beat even faster. “Is that okay?”

“I,” He swallowed once more, but nodded. “Yeah. Of course, Ry.” 

Ryan smiled at him, going back to cuddle against his chest and Shane sighed, blinking as he remembered their friends saying they wanted to show him something Ryan had said, but it had to wait. 

He kissed Ryan’s temple discreetly, smiling as he pushed him into the van.

Ryan needed him that night, and that was what mattered the most.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my fic! Please consider leaving a comment, and come say hi on [tumblr](http://wetooanoath.tumblr.com/)!


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